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CONCLAVE (2024)

RATING: ★★★★★

COMMENTS: I fucking LOVE this movie!!!!! It was utterly riveting from start to finish and I have been desperately trying to get everyone I know to go see it. The cast is amazing - so many excellent Random Guys From That One Thing I Know And Also Stanley Tucci. This movie is obviously not shy about its satire of the Catholic church, so it proceeds with total freedom to be dramatic and tense and moving and at times incredibly funny. I saw an early release attended mostly by people 60 and up, several of whom walked out once it became clear that this was not a film about the righteousness of Catholicism. Great sound design on this thing as well: hushed conversations completely bass boosted in surround sound plus startling staccato strings for the somewhat minimal scoring. Cardinal Benitez slay forever. Also the Italian cardinal who was constantly vaping in front of beautiful religious institutions. A movie that makes you say DIVA! in your head 500 times per viewing. 

HIGHLIGHT: If there was only certainty, and no doubt, there would be no mystery. And therefore no need for faith. Let us pray that God will grant us a Pope who doubts. 


BIG EDEN (2000)

RATING: ★★★★★

COMMENTS: This movie is sooooooo sweet. Pike is an early 2000s romcom love interest of all time….TO ME!! The concept of a small town basically conspiring to get him together with Henry is delightful. I also love Pike having a Greek chorus of middle-aged fishermen that hang out in his shop and meddle with his love life. George Coe as Henry’s grandfather absolutely shredded my heart. Both lead actors are so charming (and Eric Schweig is insanely handsome). The side plot about making out with your repressed, closeted, and divorced childhood best friend that makes you feel bad about yourself is so ahead of its time in terms of pop culture relevance. This is also the only movie in the world that knows about the indescribable beauty of every general store in a rural Montanan town of 10 people.

HIGHLIGHT: Why can’t you see how much love there is that people just want to pour on top of you? I can't help but think that your grandma and I didn’t do right by you somehow. I feel like maybe we taught you something wrong. Because you won’t tell me who you are. Did we teach you shame? Did I teach you that? ‘Cause it would break my heart if I had. Can’t you see what a  good job god did here? Can't you see how beautiful he made you?


THE SUBSTANCE (2024)

RATING: ★★★(3.5)

COMMENTS: Exited this movie convinced I would be having visceral body horror nightmares for the foreseeable future, but thus far have managed to avoid this completely. I rated this lower because I think the whole thing went on about 20 minutes too long. Otherwise it was a 4 star movie for me (probably). This movie of course sparked lots of #Discourse about the #Meaning of this film but I think a lot of the chatter still managed to miss the mark a bit. The insanity of female beauty standards is the VEHICLE not the MESSAGE; this a movie about the absolute soul-rotting power of self-loathing and the violence of self destruction. Which is applicable beyond the prism of physical appearance. But also I think we are all just taking it too seriously. So many tweets about how it’s soooo ridiculous that Elisabeth/Sue doesn’t respect The Balance. Remember you are one, the ominous voice of The Substance Hotline repeatedly reminds her. Well guess what: someone who was capable of respecting the balance would never do the drug in the first place. Despite how it seems, despite where the message comes from, at the end of the day you are the one destroying yourself. Also; Margaret Qualley’s completely unhinged delivery of CONTROL YOURSELF is the line-reading of the year.

HIGHLIGHT: The Monstro Elisasue transformation which made me audibly gasp and say Oh My God No outloud in the theater.


WOLF HALL BY HILARY MANTEL

RATING: ★★★★★

COMMENTS: This is one of those books I have long avoided reading because I just knew that it was going to completely absorb my life. It took me a while to get through this book, but I simply could not pick up anything else in the meantime. I don’t know why I loved this so much, to be honest. It was all just so compelling. This will make sense to almost no one, but Thomas Cromwell is very AMC’s The Terror James Fitzjames to me. My wonderful doomed and charming un-canonized saint. Also, there is genuinely crazy 16th century old man yaoi to rotate in here if you want to. Lastly, this book contains one of my favorite/one of the funniest insults I’ve ever come across in a novel: You nobody from Hell, you whore-spawn, you cluster of evil, you lawyer!

HIGHLIGHT: “Have you made a good confession?” / “My lord cardinal, I was a soldier.” / “Soldiers have hope of heaven.”

HIGHLIGHT: What is clear is his thought about Walter: I’ve had enough of this. If he gets after me again I’m going to kill him, and if I kill him they’ll hang me, and if they’re going to hang me I want a better reason.

HIGHLIGHT: “Sometimes it is a solace to me,” Henry says, “not to have to talk and talk. You were born to understand me, perhaps.”

HIGHLIGHT: “Do you know what I say? I say I don’t know one man in England who would have done what you have done, for a man disgraced and fallen. (...) I say, it's a pity you ever saw Wolsey. It's a pity you don’t work for me.”

HIGHLIGHT: Later he will hear that Frith and the boy suffered, the wind blowing the flames away from them repeatedly. / Death is a japester; call him and he will not come.


THE SCORPIO RACES BY MAGGIE STIEFVATER

RATING: ★★★★★

COMMENTS: I think I was 15 the first time I read this. For the past couple of years, I have made a little tradition of rereading it every November in honor of the opening line: It is the first day of November and so, today, someone will die. There are a few cringe moments but overall I feel it holds up (though I am clearly biased). Somehow, every year I notice something I missed before, or am moved in some way by moments I have completely forgotten! In 2020, I realized that Gabriel and Peg Gratton were clearly having an affair. This year, I noticed the moment very early on in the book that Finn gets the idea to gamble all the money on Puck at the end. George Holly is still my favorite non-POV character by a mile - the older I get, the more I appreciate him. I also have soooo much more sympathy for Gabriel now that I am his age. When Puck finds out from Father Mooneyham that Gabriel has cried repeatedly in the confessional…it really pierces my heart. Anyways! This book completely kicked my fucking head off when I was 15. To me it is the near-utopian ideal of a heterosexual YA romance; Puck and Sean touch like once or twice and instead spend most of the book participating in an insane psychosexual torture dance. Like, why is Sean tucking Puck’s hair into her sweater when they take his evil horse that killed someone yesterday out for a ride the most romantic thing that has ever happened? Their first kiss happens at a funeral. What a novel!

HIGHLIGHT: “I don't need another horse. I just––” / Holly follows me, and though I don't turn around, I hear his voice clearly. “It's just that he's not yours.”/ I'm not certain I want to have this conversation. “It's not that he's not mine. It's that he's Benjamin Malvern's.”


THE IDIOT BY ELIF BATUMAN

RATING: ★★★★

COMMENTS: Something about Batuman’s writing style is so funny and mesmerizing. Selin is such an interesting protagonist - she is an idiot but in such a specific way you can only be at 18. There were so many throwaway lines that made me burst out laughing in real life. I loved this for how readable and how particular it was. I honestly can’t think of much to say - I just had a good time. I think there is a sequel (?) which I hope to pick up soon.

HIGHLIGHT: That was the best thing about college: it was easy to leave. You could be in the place where you lived, having an argument that you had basically started, and then you could just say, “See you later,” and go somewhere else.

HIGHLIGHT: Svetlana had written about whether love was a game you could get infinitely good at, like in French novels—whether it was a matter of playing your cards right—or whether it existed between certain people in some kind of current and you just had to tap into it.



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IMPERIAL RADCH TRILOGY by ANN LECKIE

RATING: 5 stars outstanding show-stopping life-changing groundbreaking exquisite and unprecedentedly beautiful

SUMMARY: There are no words.........

COMMENTS: I decided to finally finish this trilogy after being killed in January of 2021 by Ancillary Justice. I started with a complete re-read of Justice to refresh my memory, and it is still as devastating and fun and thoughtful and interesting and intense as ever. Anyways Breq I love you so much forever until the sun explodes and we all die for real. I’ll just paraphrase from my original review of the first book about how Breq’s grief and rage and pain are so huge and REAL…the emotional core of her really drives the whole series to incredible places. Ann Leckie also deserves so much credit (in my opinion) for taking an outrageously difficult POV concept and making it totally coherent, as well as for having 1000 opportunities to make the obvious choice in terms of worldbuilding and just. Not doing that. The cultures and people and species in these books are simultaneously familiar enough to ring true and yet so bizarre as to be off putting. The Presger translators, Sphene, even Seivarden’s outdated Radchaai proclivities…effervescent stuff! I need to get into the short story/novella side of this universe which I only recently found out exists. Anyways. Breq/literally anyone MY SHIP REAL!!!!!!!!

HIGHLIGHTS: “That,” I said, “is why I hate you. / She laughed, as though I had said something moderately witty. “If that’s what you’re willing to do for someone you hate, what would you do for someone you love?”

HIGHLIGHTS: If you lose this gun, I will not live long enough to forgive you.

PAGES: 1,116 


TRANSLATION STATE by ANN LECKIE

RATING: 3.5 stars

SUMMARY: What if you were never what you thought you were?

COMMENTS: Overall this book feels more juvenile than the rest of the Ancillary universe, which I suppose makes sense given the circumstances of Qven (who I feel, despite being 1 of 3 narrators, the novel centers around). This book takes the universe so much farther into the weeds about multiple bodies being one Person. And I like it. I like to think about it. But ultimately this is pretty middling stuff and didn’t stick with me the way Leckie’s other work has! There were a lot of interesting things occurring in the margins and between the lines of this book; Enae’s family’s tea plantation dynamix, Presger translator babby school, weird ethnonationalist societies…but still. This one just doesn’t have the star power. For another author this might be a better book, you know???

HIGHLIGHT: N/A

PAGES: 422 

 

THE COLLECTED SCHIZOPHRENIAS by ESMÉ WEIJUN WANG

RATING: 4 stars

SUMMARY: What if you could never know if it was real?

COMMENTS: This was such an unexpected hit for me. It got recommended to me on Book Depository (RIP) while I was looking for something new to pick up. Wang is an incredibly captivating writer - such a rare treat for nonfiction. This book is about both schizophrenia as an illness/diagnoses/cultural conception as it is about Wang’s own experiences with it. If you enjoy medical anthropology or criticisms of mental healthcare or just want to read something truly interesting, you should pick this up. It gets a bit woo-woo near the end, though the author admits that - and has interesting thoughts about scientific views on woo-wooiness as well. It also introduced me to the world of Chronic Lyme which is a rabbit hole I cannot stop going down. I really enjoyed the clarity and sympathy this author brings to this topic. Definitely a standout read of the year for me!

HIGHLIGHT: I can’t speak to her now, but I do imagine what it was like to be her on the night she killed her brother. When I think about the murder, I think about how excessive thirteen shots is. I also think about how a man who loomed over your bed in the middle of the night, a man who claimed to be sent by God to kill your daughter, might seem like a man possessed by evil, and therefore capable of anything, including surviving multiple gunshot wounds -- even if you loved him once, or still do.

PAGES: 224


DAISY JONES AND THE SIX by TAYLOR JENKINS REID

RATING: 3.5 stars

SUMMARY: IDK what if you were straight and horny and married to someone else

COMMENTS: I read this after I watched the television show - which only got juicy in the very last episode. Basically the whole drive of this book (which is presented as the transcript of interviews with members of a band a decade or two post-disbandment) is a will-they-won’t-they romance between the two lead singers of a band, one of whom is an addict married to his first love, and the other of whom is an addict with self destructive hypersexual tendencies. I mean, I read it very quickly, and I had some fun, but this book is just above average in terms of overall quality. They should have had an affair for real!!!!! Boooo!!!!!!!!!!

HIGHLIGHTS: N/A

PAGES: 368 

EARTHLINGS by SAYAKA MURATA

RATING: 2.75

SUMMARY: How far would you go to be who you think you are?

COMMENTS: Mostly this book just made me wonder how I end up reading so many books involving cannibalism without seeking it out specifically. I wanted to enjoy this more but I simply didn’t! It has been a few months since I read this and honestly I don’t remember anything specific about it which is an indictment of its general blandness in my opinion.

HIGHLIGHT: N/A

PAGES: 247


AXIOM’S END by LINDSEY ELLIS

RATING: 2 stars

SUMMARY: What if you were reading a terrible first contact novel.

COMMENTS: Guuuuuys I really hated this one. I wanted to like it! But I just didn’t. The main character is genuinely outrageously boring, bland, and annoying - it was a struggle to get through this story alongside her. The vaguely horny human/alien relationship wasn’t even fun!!! BOOOOOO!!!!!!

HIGHLIGHT: N/A

PAGES: 384

THE HANDMAID’S TALE by MARGARET ATWOOD

RATING: 4 stars

SUMMARY: What if property was all you’ll ever be? What if you had to find happiness, had to make a life, had to stay yourself that way?

COMMENTS: Honestly I have no idea why I’ve never picked this up before - I knew it would be right up my alley; disturbing, gross, dark, religious. The internet tells me that this book invented the subgenre of feminist dystopia the way that Ursula K Le Guin invented anthropological science fiction, which I think is a fair assessment (though I can’t assert if it is actually the truth). The Handmaid’s Tale absolutely is dedicated to examining the contradictory ideological conceptions of women, especially among fundamentalist Christians: mothers, servants, property, virgins, whores. I tore through it in about a day. Margaret Atwood’s sparse, direct, yet oddly beautiful writing was so refreshing after dragging myself through the sludge of Axiom’s End. Offred is an incredibly compelling narrator, weaving the story backwards and forwards along an unknown timeline. She is about as low on the ladder as you can get within Gilead society, obviously barring those who are sent to the Colonies. I found the world of this novel incredibly interesting and disturbing, I was scraping up every minute detail Atwood put on the page. The character of Nick was so intriguing as well; his rare appearances added so much to the story and emotional world of Offred. Nick and Offred’s romance/relationship(?) brings so much heart and depth to both of them as characters…like their ability to (seemingly) truly have this escapist love affair and find relief in one another has heartbreaking sincerity inside a very cruel and unfeeling universe. I was also really into the epilogue of this book, which frames the entire novel as a set of tape recordings discovered many decades in the future, studied by scholars focused on the now-fallen nation of Gilead, being discussed and debated at an academic conference. So cool!!!

HIGHLIGHT: Nobody’s heart is perfect.

HIGHLIGHT: You've killed her, I said. She looked like an angel, solemn, compact, made of air. She was wearing a dress I'd never seen, white and down to the ground.

PAGES: 314


THE TESTAMENTS by MARGARET ATWOOD

RATING: 3 star for Aunt Lydia

SUMMARY: What if you had to destroy the only thing you were allowed to build?

COMMENTS: Margaret Atwood should have dropped the other two POVs and just let this be about Aunt Lydia. Aunt Lydia’s position in Gilead basically affords her the knowledge to tell the story of the other two POVs anyway, and her perspective was by far the most interesting, as well as the only one that felt true to/in communion with The Handmaid’s Tale. I listened to part of this on audiobook, and the narrator for Aunt Lydia’s POV is the actress who plays her in the TV adaptation. Her voice is so fitting (in my opinion) and really added to the experience! The POVs of the other two narrators, both teenage girls, comes off as bizarrely YA in a bad way. I also want to thank this book for introducing me to microdots, the greatest spy technology ever invented. I really loved the look into the administrative side of Gilead and the lives of young girls in Gilead after the mystery left behind in The Handmaid’s Tale. Definitely worth a read if you keep your expectations low for ⅔ of the narrators.

HIGHLIGHT: Love is as strong as death.

PAGES: 432
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I am having a very bad year of reading. No 5 stars so far :( Also there are quite a few books I’m not even bothering to review because there's nothing to say  LOL


Acceptance by Jeff Vandermeer

Rating: 3 stars

Summary: Basically what if you had to go on a company retreat in a giant biohazard.

Comments: Obviously I did not like this as much as I liked the second book in the Southern Reach Trilogy but few things can live up to Authority's particular oeuvre. IN MY OPINION. Anyways. I keep reading Jeff Vandermeer because despite the fact that his writing style does not particularly appeal to me and he is a chronic loser of the plot, his premises/ideas are so interesting that I just can’t help myself. He also crafts some of the most truly psychotic relationship dynamics I have ever come across…though they are rarely fleshed out in the way I would like. I very much appreciated the added POVs in this final book; the lighthouse keeper (Saul) and Gloria really round this installment out. I especially liked Saul. In typical Vandermeer fashion I don’t understand anything that happened in this and felt underwhelmed by the trilogy’s conclusion. But it's okay. I had fun. Maybe the real Area X was the friends we made along the way etc etc.

Highlight: I never did forget about you. I just took a long time coming back.

Highlight: Don’t you get tired after a while? Of always moving forward and never reaching the end? 

Highlight: What did you hide from us about Area X? / Nothing that would have helped you.



Hummingbird Salamander by Jeff Vandermeer

Rating: 3.25 stars

Summary: What if the collapse of civilization was also a scavenger hunt put together by a suspected bioterrorist that knew your dead brother.

Comments: Again with the Vandermeerian problem of boring writing paired with a delightfully insane premise that promptly gets lost in the plot. Protagonist in this is a 6 foot tall woman that works in security and was formerly a professional bodybuilder who recreationally cheats on her husband. Put simply, I love her. She’s not particularly compelling or anything, I just appreciate what she does for this novel in the general sense I guess? This book opens on the protagonist receiving a mysterious letter that leads her to a taxidermied extinct species of hummingbird (aka it is illegal), then promptly snowballs into an insane apocalyptic mystery involving federal agents, giant corporations, scorned friends, scorned lovers, and a guy named HELLBENDER. All while the environment and also society collapses. It was interesting, but not particularly Good. If you know what I mean. 

Highlight: You tripped a wire. I don’t want to be in the cage with you.



Hyperion by Dan Simmons

Rating: 3.5 stars

Summary: honestly there is no way to sum this up

Comments: Um…..this book is balls to the wall crazy. As expected from the author of THE TERROR! Once again the writing itself is nothing special but the story kicks off like a bat out of hell and does not let up. It clearly takes inspiration from the format of The Canterbury tales, aka a group of people traveling together each take turns telling their story as they head towards their destination. Which in this book happens to be a creature called the Shrike on the planet Hyperion that will supposedly kill all but one of the seven people on the pilgrimage. This book has everything; priests getting parasites, poor anthropological ethics, fucking on a battlefield, falling in love with some girl you saw in your dream one time, diseases that make you age backwards, making out with cyborgs, poems that predict the future, accidentally becoming a folk legend, destroying your relationships with space time relativity, and the Wizard of Oz. Something the whole family can enjoy! It ends on a cliffhanger before the pilgrims meet the Shrike which is extremely annoying but I also am not sure if I care enough to read the sequel.

Highlight: N/A 


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A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K Le Guin

rating: 3.75 stars

summary: The only way to stop being chased by your shadow is to turn around and chase it back.

comments: Hehehe I FINALLY started this series. Several people have said that I will really like the sequel (The Tombs of Atuan) so I am looking forward to that!! Overall I liked this book - it's trapped in the 3 star range forever because unfortunately it is children’s literature and I am not a child so naturally I wanted more; more darkness, more conflict, more depth. Which isn’t to say that UKLG did not expertly execute the existing darkness/conflict/depth of this book! I love true name magic fuckery. I love the weird little wizard school. I love Ged’s first wizard master that he comes to love dearly despite thinking he’s totally lame as a child. I read a review of this about how reading Earthsea at this point in time can make it feel played out, but only because UKLG invented so many wizard school/wizard tropes that are popular today. And also subverted so many things that eventually became tropes in such interesting ways. It's very clear that when this book came out, it was totally fresh - or that if this was the first kid wizard book I ever read, it would have been. And I wish it was fresh to me! But it isn't. And I STILL liked it, which is a testament to its general good-ness. Ged is a fun protag and I can’t wait to see where this series goes. Several moments genuinely touched my heart. It sounds like I’m ragging on this book but I genuinely think it was quite good!! UKLG’s imagery is as powerful as always; an endless ocean suddenly turning into sand, Ged sparring with dragons, a dilapidated shack on a tidal shoal. I also really loved that there is no Big Bad Evil. There’s no Voldemort figure, there's no nebulous, faceless force working to destroy the world. The evil Ged has to defeat is that which is already in his heart. OH URSULA I MISS YOU EVERY DAY.

highlight: 

  • “For I had forgotten how much light there is in the world, ‘til you gave it back to me.”

  • “I would keep you here with me, for I have what you lack, but I will not keep you against your will. Now choose between Re Albi and Roke.” / Ged stood dumb, his heart bewildered. He had come to love this man Ogion who had healed him with a touch, and who had no anger: he loved him, and had not known it until now.

  • “Lord Gensher, I do not know what it was  – the thing that came out of the spell and cleaved to me –” / “Nor do I know. It has no name. You have great power inborn in you, and you used that power wrongly, to work a spell over which you had no control, not knowing how that spell affects the balance of light and dark, life and death, good and evil. And you were moved to do this by pride and by hate. Is it any wonder the result was a ruin? You summoned a spirit from the dead, but with it came one of the Powers of the unlife. Uncalled it came from a place where there are no names. Evil, it wills to work evil through you. The power you had to call it gives it power over you: you are connected. It is the shadow of your arrogance, the shadow of your ignorance, the shadow you cast. Has a shadow a name?” / Ged stood sick and haggard. He said at last, “Better I had died.” / “Who are you to judge that, you for whom Nemmerle gave his life?”

pages: 183



Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card

rating: 4.25 stars

summary: If you found life from another world, could you recognize it at all?

comments: Speaker for the Dead blew my fucking mind when I was 13 years old so naturally I wanted to reread it and see how I feel now that I have critical thinking skills and the unfortunate knowledge that OSC is a raging sexist/racist/homophobe. It never fails to stun me how he is Like That and then wrote a series about how every life has value. But I digress! While reading the first half of this book something I couldn’t quite put my finger on was putting me off. Eventually I narrowed it down to a couple things. The treatment of women overall in this book (and series?) is a bit weird. Almost every adult woman who is not an ascetic monk is in love with Ender in some way by the end of the novel (Jane, Novinha, his sister in a weird fucked up way and I’m not a freak for saying this because he refers to his separation from Valentine as ‘being widowed’). Ender also sees a photo of Novinha when she is 14 and he is 30(?), ‘falls in love’ with her, and marries her at the end of the book when they are both adults because of time-space age fuckery. I was also put off by the treatment of the alien race (pequeninos) for the first 2/3rd, but that is mostly a purposeful narrative decision which highlights how the people on Lusitania don’t actually see them as equals, and is corrected. There are also a few moments where it is unclear whether it is the narrative itself or the inner monologue of Ender/other POV characters who refer to one character’s bionic eyes/blindness/disability as ‘monstrous.’ So there's all that. And yet…somehow…Speaker for the Dead still got me. I cried two times. I ended up loving Ender again after wondering if he was becoming a Gary Sue. I loved Ela, I loved all the pequeninos, I loved the climactic arc of the treaty being created. The 40-50 pages post-treaty are honestly a little boring IMO but I didn’t mind so much because of the last few pages where they finally plant the hive queen on Lusitania and Ender bawls his fucking eyes out. The reveal that Pipo and Libo’s deaths were actually the pequeninos trying to do them a high honor by thinking that humans also had a third life is soooo fucked up and good. Anyways. Ender is so compelling as a protagonist. There's probably valid criticism of how in-universe he’s the greatest military commander who ever lived, a famous prophet, and also the only person with access to the most powerful AI in the world, which gives him a bit too much deus ex machina, but who cares. It's sick as hell. Also the fact that Ender falls in love with Jane, the deviated form of an artificial intelligence porgram that was designed to psychologically torture him as a child, cannot be overlooked for its inspiredness and hilarity. 

highlights:

  • “Sickness and healing are in every heart. Death and deliverance are  in every hand.” / “Human,” said the speaker, “tell your people not to grieve for what they did in ignorance.” / “It was a terrible thing,” Human said. “It was our greatest gift.”

  • “Will he always come between us?” / “Yes,” Ela said. “Like a bridge, he’ll come between us.” 

  • “I knew her so well that I loved her, or maybe I loved her so well that I knew her. I didn't want to fight her anymore. I wanted to quit. I wanted to go home.”

  • “I imagine it feels like bathing in ice to the person touching her. But how does it feel to her? Cold as she is, it must surely burn like fire.”

pages: 382

romanze....

Wednesday, 10 November 2021 21:03
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in response to the twt post asking what you think is the most romantic moment in all of fiction...these are just ones off the top of my head. my taste is bad and my choices require heaps of context but who cares...its just vibes

Read more... )
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A Stranger in Olondria by Sofia Samatar

rating: 5 star

summary: what if it won’t leave you alone until you put it to rest?

comments: you guys. you guys. literally the other writers aren't sofia samatar and that will NEVER be ok. this book is like tangentially related to the winged histories...in a good way!! its set a bit before it in a fascinating manner. and tialon is there! the moment when i realized that the prince’s war some characters vaguely mention wanting to go fight in is dasya’s...PAIN. anyways. in this book the main character falls in love with a ghost/angel he is also being haunted by, AND that haunting ultimately snowballs into a massive uncontrollable political/religious disaster for the entire country of olondria. its amazing. jevick is a wonderful protagonist...his is a fascinating perspective to be saddled with! im writing these comments too long after i finished this (back in utah) to fully articulate how much i love it but seriously i couldn’t put it down. miss samatar i love you so much. prose was drop dead gorgeous as always.

highlights

  • Tears filled my eyes. The desire to confide in him made me tremble. / “What is your trouble?” he whispered. / “A dead thing. Something dead.” / He leaned close, urgent. “An angel?” / Yes. Yes, I said. An angel.  

  • The sound of something shifting inside the box knocked at my heart; my hands were sweating, and when I had positioned the coffin I wiped them on my coat. The house observed me, silent. Miros and Auram were there, but no one looked out; they had left me to complete this ritual alone. I am the last thing you will see, I said in my heart. I am the last, I have carried you in my arms, I have brought you home.

pages: 304




Boy Parts by Eliza Clark

rating: 4 stars???

summary: what if there was gender. and violence.

comments: i literally cannot articulate what happened to me when i read this book. i finished it in one day and then just sat there in silence looking at the brick wall outside my window. narrator/main character is (intentionally) unbelievably insufferable but the writing is so fresh and funny that i never minded. eliza clark YOUR INSANE and i need your hand in marriage NOW. btw basically every content warning imaginable on this one

highlights

  • He’s a vision in polyester, he’s a checkout movie star; he’s the Oscar Isaac of random boys who work in Tesco.

  • It isn't him. It never is.

pages: 217





The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell

rating: 5 star

summary: what if jesuit priests went to space and it wasnt fun?

comments: okay well im obsessed with this now. this book has my number in the sense that a) it’s essentially anthropological science fiction, b) the protagonist is a linguist, c) it’s a first contact story and d) there is gross body horror and stuff gets Dark. since reading dune last year i have been enjoying sci fi that interrogates religion quite a bit (partially because imo sci fi is extremely well equipped to do so) but have been putting off the sparrow for a while, in that weird way where i knew i would love it but wasn’t ready yet? well i was right and i do love this…i love emilio sandoz as a protagonist and i loved every other main character to bits too. i especially loved the crisis of faith that basically glues this book together. there’s an ongoing disagreement between characters in this book about why god gets credit for good things that happen, but none of the blame for the bad, which culminates devastatingly into; if god is real and all this terrible stuff happened, he must answer for that. which is way more compelling than just wondering if god is real or not. the authors writing is so easy to read but still clever and entertaining and cutting…i can’t put my finger on why though!!! also the framing device of half the chapters morning forward through the mission to space while the other half look backwards on it as emilio is questioned about what happened after returning is soooo great….very I’m Telling You What Is Going To Happen Right Now On Page One And You Will Still Be Shocked and Appalled by These Events as They Occur. i also want to credit the author for having an actual serious grasp on linguistics!! the language puzzles and discussions that happened in this book were very entertaining for me. content warnings for body horror involving hands and general illness, rape, and sex trafficking if you are looking to pick this one up. if your threshold for being uncomfortable/disturbed isnt super high you probably shouldnt read this

highlight

  • Now you have to live with knowing. But it was my body. It was my blood. And it was my love. 

  • He thought sometimes of the peculiar peacefulness he’d experienced towards the end of the voyage back, watching blood seep from his hands and thinking, This will kill me, and then I can stop trying to understand. 

  • “Matthew ten, verse twenty-nine,” Vincenzo Giuliani said quietly. “Not one sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.” / “But still, the sparrow falls,” Felipe said. 

pages: 496



Dune Messiah by Frank Herbert

rating: 3.25 stars

summary: what if you knew god and he died

comments: this may as well be titled DUNE For People Who Didn’t Understand DUNE. and i mean that as a compliment. basically if you got tricked into thinking paul is a Good Guy in dune this book is here to be like, just in case you didn’t notice, this guy started a religious cult and then used it to exact revenge over familial disputes which eventually resulted in the deaths of 60 million people. haha. there is an interesting aspect re: paul's ability to see futures, so all this terrible stuff is justified via paul's knowledge that its the least awful path available to take, but. still doesn't make him a good guy! not sure what it makes him really. anyways this was weird but fun in the same ways dune was…#PaulAtreidesIsOverParty i think its epic and hilarious that he walked off into the desert to die at the end. duncan idaho’s corpse being reanimated and given as a gift to paul wildly entertaining as well. too much discussion of incest and having babies but thats just frank herbert for you i guess.

highlight

  • Here lies a toppled god – his fall was not a small one. We did but build his pedestal, a narrow and a tall one.

pages: 334


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quick reviews of all the books i read, save for about 5 or 6 that i read for school and had nothing to say about. no matter what i do dreamwidth will not let me un-bold this sentence. be free!!!!

Read more... )
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i dont even know how to review this book so it is time for the obligatory highlights reel post. what i have been through you cannot possibly imagine.


     I still didn't know who was committing the crimes, but I knew for the first time that we would find out, and that we would arrive at him. I also knew the knowledge would be terribly, perhaps tragically, expensive to others in the book. / As a sultan once said: I do not keep falcons––they live with me. 

This is literally just the introduction of the book where Thomas Harris talks about writing Red Dragon and I don't know why but this had me staring up at the ceiling.


    His learned values of decency and propriety tagged along, shocked at his associations, appalled at his dreams; sorry that in the bone arena of his skull there were not forts for what he loved. 

Ah...the Will Graham thesis. 


     "That's interesting," Graham said.
     "It's not 'interesting.' You'd thought of that before."
     "I had considered it."
     "You just came here to look at me. Just to get the old scent again, didn't you?"


No one was more shocked than me finding out that You just came here to look at me wasn't some gay shit the nbc show runners made up...GIRL. Hannibal is crazy.


     "I'm sorry, Beverly. What did you say?" He looked at her bright eyes and kindly, well worn face.
     "I just said I'm glad to see you back, Champ. You're looking good."

BEVERLYYYYYYY....IS MY FRIEND. I like it when people are nice to Will.


     Lecter felt much better. He though he might surprise Graham with a call sometime, or if the man couldn't be civil, he might have a hospital supply house mail Graham a colostomy bag for old time's sake.

Hannibal thinking to do this after seeing Will one time and tricking some poor receptionist into giving him Will's address is soooo hilarious...a fun little tribute to that time Hannibal cut Will from hip to rib resulting in a temporary colostomy and Will's retirement <3


     He could see the print of his forehead, nose, and mouth, and chin on the window as the lightning flashed behind it; a face with drops crawling through it down the glass. Eyeless. A face full of rain.

This was just nice imagery


     "I won't put you through this again," he said, "but I'd like to come back by. Just to say hi and see how you're doing."
     "How could you help it – a charmer like me."
     For the first time he saw tears, and realized where it ate her.

     "Would you excuse us for a minute, officer?" Graham said. He took Reba's hand. "Look here. There was plenty wrong with Dolarhyde, but there's nothing wrong with you. At the end, he couldn't kill you and he couldn't watch you die. You didn't draw a freak. You drew a man with a freak on his back. Nothing wrong with you, kid."

Because He Is A Nice Man.


     "Molly, they don't like me and you know why. Every time they look at me, I remind them."
     "That's not fair and it's not true either."
     "Okay. They're full of shit and they make me sick – try that one."

LMFAOOO Will and Molly constantly getting into fights is such a highlight of this book.





NO COMMENT.
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i have just finished my (unknown number) reread of the scorpio races.....and i once again have severe psionic damage. here are all the things that stuck out to me on this particular occasion
  • i felt very aware of this book's (minor imo) flaws this time around, i.e. a handful of moments/pieces of dialogue that felt like they were written with the intention of seeming snarky/funny but ultimately fall flat and feel out of place or awkward. puck's comments about vinegar or whatever come to mind in particular
  • george holly jumped out at me soooo much on this reread!! i have always loved his character but i think i never noticed how genuinely kind he was beneath all the wit before. i love all the times he forces sean to face his own feelings. whats better than this: "don't say hmmm to me, mr holly. you cant come in here with your red hat and those shoes and play the wise man. / "yes, says the man wearing no shoes at all."
  • PEG GRATTION AND GABRIEL ARE HAVING AN AFFAIR? i am so stunned i never parsed this out until now...their interactions always made me ? previously but i never thought it through all the way. it finally hit me when puck sees gabe standing right up behind peg in the kitchen talking to her quietly, and then later in that scene when she gets up to go get gabe from the kitchen but tommy falk jumps up anxiously to do it himself, all this occurring just under the nose of beech gratton.
  • benjamin malvern is such a perfect villain. like he's not even evil he is just kind of unsympathetic. the line thats like I know Benjamin Malvern wants to be entertained, and that few things manage it. drunk on power ass bitch
  • i also never noticed that gabe was roughly 24 years old...theres a single line about him being 6 years older than puck near the end of the book, and puck is 18ish. i always assumed he was like 19 or 20 for some reason, but i actually like that he is older. this also means finn is 16 since he was old enough to place a bet, which makes his melodramatic personality 10x funnier.
  • i guess i also never put together how morbid and sad tommy falk's death/funeral is...he was meant to go to the mainland with gabriel and beech like 2 days after he died :( and also sean/puck first kiss being right after his funeral is sooo *&^%$# ok freaks 
  • apparently the race colors puck ends up with being peg gratton's scorpio festival cape escaped me completely
  • I AM SO HOESMAD THAT I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT WHO THE MARE GODDESS AT THE FESTIVAL IS!!!!!!! REVEAL YOUR SECRETS.
  • every day i wonder if corr is the horse painted in the cave on the other side of thisby
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     Of all the dark, obstructive, enigmatic souls I had met in this bleak city [Estraven's] was the darkest. I would not play his labyrinthine game.
(page 20)
sorry its just that this observation about therem/estraven by genly/genry is literally so hilarious considering well.....everything.



     "You don't see yet, Genry, why we perfected and practice Foretelling?"
     "No––"
     "To exhibit the perfect uselessness of knowing the answer to the wrong question."
     (...)
     "The unknown," said Faxe's soft voice in the forest, "the unforetold, the unproven, that is what life is based on. Ignorance is the ground of thought. Unproof is the ground of action. If it were proven that there is no God , there would be no religion. No Handdara, no Yomesh, no hearthgods, nothing. But also if it were proven that there is a god, there would be no religion...Tell me, Genry, what is known? What is sure, predictable, inevitable––the one certain thing you know concerning your future, and mine?"
     "That we shall die."
     "Yes. There's really only one question that can be asked, Genry, and we already know the answer."
(page 74-45)
i uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh



     There waiting for me at the gate of the little town was Ashe. (...) We had not seen each other those three years, yet seeing his face in the twilight under the arch of stone I felt the old habit of our love as if it had been broken yesterday, and knew the faithfulness in him that had sent him to share my ruin. And feeling that unavailing bond close on me anew, I was angry; for Ashe's love had always forced me to act against my heart.
(page 79)
my face when ursula k le guin comes and slaps me in the middle of this chapter



Therem: You owe me nothing, nor I you. Let me go.
Ashe: Will you take this, Therem? I owe you nothing, but I love you well.
(page 79)
there was no good reason for me to feel this way but well thats just how it is



     He said, "I am Arek of Estre."
     The other said, "I am Therem of Stok."
     Then Estraven laughed, for he was still weak, and said, "Did you warm me back to life in order to kill me, Stokven?"
     The other said, "No."
     He put out his hand and touched Estraven's hand, as if he were making certain that the frost was driven out. At the touch, though Estraven was a day or two from his kemmer, he felt the fire waken in himself. So for a while both held still, their hands touching.
     "They are the same," said Stokven, and laying his palm against Estraven's showed it was so: their hands were the same in length and form, finger by finger, matching like the two hands of one man laid palm to palm.
     "I have never seen you before," Stokven said. "We are mortal enemies." He rose, and built up the fire in the hearth, and returned to sit by Estraven. 
     "We are mortal enemies," said Estraven. "I would swear kemmering with you."
     +

     "Did you bind up my wounds in order to kill me, Stokven?"
     "No," said the older one.
     Estraven asked, "How does it chance that you, the lord of Stok, are her on disputed land alone?"
     "I come here often," Stokven replied.
     He felt the young man's pulse and hand for fever, and for an instant laid his palm flat to Estraven's palm, and finger by finger their two hands matches, like the two hands of one man. 
     "We are mortal enemies," said Stokven.
     Estraven answered, "We are mortal enemies. Yet I have never seen you before."
     Stokven turned aside his face. "Once I saw you, long ago," he said.  
(page 134-137)
this is seriously soooooooo.....the inclusion of this karhidish tale where the characters all share the names of the second main character + his brother, the inclusion of the other tale about brothers, the duality/sameness theme, how both the estraven in the tale and the estraven who has pov in the story are both named traitors, the way at the end of the book genly basically does a variation on this plot, coming to estraven's father and meeting his son.....i was literally crying it felt like i had photo developer in my eye 

 

     It is a terrible thing, this kindness that human beings do not lose. Terrible, because when we are finally naked in the dark and cold, it is all we have. We who are so rich, so full of strength, we end up with that small change. We have nothing else to give.
(page 183)
you would not believe my face when i realized i reblogged a The Terror gifset on tumblr with this quote overlayed on the pix a few months ago....my interests are a flat circle.




     "In kemmer all the time...Is it a place of reward, then? Or a place of punishment?"
     "I don't know, Asra. Which is this world?"
     "Neither, child. This here is just the world, it's how it is. You get born into it and...things are as they are."
     "I wasn't born into it. I came to it. I chose it."
     "Ah well...Ah well," Asra murmured, and sighed, and rubbed his legs. "We none of us choose," he said.
(page 196)
genly telling asra a story about his world and it eventually all careening towards this exchange i need to be knocked unconscious with a frying pan for several reasons thank you




     "The fact is," I said, "that you're unable, or unwilling, to believe in the fact that I believe in you." I stood up, for my legs were cramped, and found I was trembling with anger and weariness. "Teach me your mindspeech," I said, trying to speak easily and with no rancor, "your language that has no lies in it. Teach me that, and then ask me why I did what I've done."
(page 214)
estraven you are so epic. 



     "You hate Orgoreyn, don't you?"
     "Very few Orgota know how to cook. Hate Orgoreyn? No, how should I? How does one hate a country, or love one? Tibe talks about it; I lack the trick of it. I know people, I know town, farms, hills and rivers and rocks, I know how the sun at sunset in autumn falls on the side of a certain plowland in the hills; but what is the sense of giving a boundary to all that, of giving it a name and ceasing to love where the name ceases to apply? What is love of one's country; is it hate of one's uncountry?"
(page 228)
i loooove the way this book grappled with the idea of a nation, international conflict, and patriotism. i love this elaboration, 200 pages later, about what estraven says to genly in the very first chapter.



     "Is it going to be 'Mr.' clear across the Gobrin ice?" 
     He looked up and laughed. "I don't know what to call you."
     "My name is Genly Ai."
     "I know. You use my landname."
     "I don't know what to call you either."
     "Harth."
     "Then I'm Ai. Who uses first names?"
     "Hearth-brothers, or friends."
(page 229)
the naming conventions on the planet in this book were so confusing. also this gave me soulpain



     But it was from the difference between us, not from the affinities and likenesses, but from the difference, that that love came: and it was itself the bridge, the only bridge, across what divided us. For us to meet sexually would be for us to meet once more as aliens. We had touched, in the only way we could touch. We left it at that. I do not know if we were right.
(page 267)
no one has ever been more stunned than me when my jokes about these bitches being in love actually came to fruition in a direct and clear way....miss le guin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! explaining this passage is impossible without the context of literally the entire book but just know that i have a heart disease now



     "Do you want to see if I can teach you how to speak it?"
     He laughed. "You want to catch me lying."
     "If you ever lied to me, it was long ago, and in another country."
(page 268)
i dont know why i decided to add commentary to this post when i genuinely am not capable of forming a though beyond AUGGGHHH



     "But I might ask you as profitably why you've never seen fit to invent airborne vehicles? One small stolen airplane would have spared you and me a great deal of difficulty!"
     "How would it ever occur to a sane man that he could fly?" said Estraven sternly.
(page 279)
the clash of interplanetary cultures is the best part of this kind of sci fi to me



     On the blank leaf glued to the inner back cover I drew the double curve with the circle, and blacked the yin half of the symbol, then pushed it back to my companion. "Do you know that sign?"
     He looked at it a long time, but he said, "No."
     "It's found on Earth, and on Hain-Davenant, and on Chiffewar. It is yin and yang. Light is the left hand of darkness...how did it go?"
(page 287)
OKAY *DIES IN AGONY*

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