the majesty of naming racehorses

[braintransplant]

 me and my dad ended up watching the tampa bay downs horse races yday on the phone together and i just need to highlight the best names of the day

• hawt mess: self explanatory. its funny. its stupid. it reminds me of high school. this horse drinks martinis at 8am on a monday.
• astroturf: this horse is wealthy, runs on a private track with synthetic grass, and has a son name reginald.
• kentucky ghost: a horse with some cowboy flair. alternative name for a saloon in a gold rush era ghost town.
• credit cycle: this horse does its own taxes
• gettingintomischief: i love the lack of spaces...looks like a tweet i made last year!
• eric the salesman: basically the race horse equivalent of a drag queen named karen from finance
• prequalified: a horse with confidence
• burn the boat: arson!
• zitman: what could i possibly say about this
• big money machine: a horse that really wants you to bet on it. desperation sells baby
• a day with chris: obscure reference that probably only makes sense to the people that own/train the horse...you have to respect it
• valuable pillow: what could this possibly mean? i have no idea!
• empty holster: another horse with a little cowboy flair...this one has bandit energy though
• enjoy baseball: a total all-american
• buffalo max: sounds like a cartoon character
• pins and needles: this is just righteous. like, fully.
• time shift: sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse

Comments

[prizefig]

karen from finance would be such an epic drag queen name ngl, the eroticization of office culture is truly an untapped niche (except for by dorian electra, whose brain is enormous) and yet endlessly relatable while still providing a stage for marxist social commentary

anyway sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse