the majesty of naming racehorses

 me and my dad ended up watching the tampa bay downs horse races yday on the phone together and i just need to highlight the best names of the day

• hawt mess: self explanatory. its funny. its stupid. it reminds me of high school. this horse drinks martinis at 8am on a monday.
• astroturf: this horse is wealthy, runs on a private track with synthetic grass, and has a son name reginald.
• kentucky ghost: a horse with some cowboy flair. alternative name for a saloon in a gold rush era ghost town.
• credit cycle: this horse does its own taxes
• gettingintomischief: i love the lack of spaces...looks like a tweet i made last year!
• eric the salesman: basically the race horse equivalent of a drag queen named karen from finance
• prequalified: a horse with confidence
• burn the boat: arson!
• zitman: what could i possibly say about this
• big money machine: a horse that really wants you to bet on it. desperation sells baby
• a day with chris: obscure reference that probably only makes sense to the people that own/train the horse...you have to respect it
• valuable pillow: what could this possibly mean? i have no idea!
• empty holster: another horse with a little cowboy flair...this one has bandit energy though
• enjoy baseball: a total all-american
• buffalo max: sounds like a cartoon character
• pins and needles: this is just righteous. like, fully.
• time shift: sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse sci fi horse